3 What I’m Starting to Learn

I tend to grasp at every verse, every Bible study, every Christian Living book, looking for answers, for ideas, when a question comes to my mind. Therefore, with the door slammed shut eight days ago today, I started to look all over for answers to the questions which swirled through my mind. I tried this Bible study and that, this Christian living book at that one. I even bought a few. I longed for more. I longed for answers.

How can I find true, deep healing? I knew I had to deal with my stuff, and once and for all, or it would deal with me.

Then, the realization came to mind that well before this latest storm, how for years now, I have wanted to find a way to forever deepen my faith. It’s been this way for over two decades. I want to grow forever deeper in my faith, Lord, and can only do it through You.

I have proof, though, of how this has already happened. Nevertheless, I still feel like my faith is only surface-skimming. I want to grow forever deeper in You, Lord, and in your Word. Is there a secret on how to do this? I keep grasping at a little bit of this, that, and everything holy, as I try to find the secret of this mystery. My faith can grow deeper and deeper because when I am in eternity, I will then know the absolute depths of faith. Therefore, while on earth, in this tent, I can keep growing in my faith.

Lord, how can I grow my faith deeper every single day for the rest of my life, grow closer to You, and find more joy?

The question kept going through my mind as I skimmed book after book, verse after verse, I felt as though I was on to something. But, what? I start to search through my bookshelf on my Amazon Kindle Fire 8.9-inch HD 4G and come across a book that I bought long ago, but never read. I read a few pages until something else sidetracked me.

ANN VOSKAMP AND “ONE THOUSAND GIFTS”

The book, “ONE THOUSAND GIFTS: A DARE TO LIVE FILLY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE” by Ann Voskamp was the change agent in my life. I started to read it three days ago (or was it four?). God, I kept feeling the words nip at my heels whenever I set it to the side. And, this is one of those books I have to set aside often so I can ponder what she said and let it sink in deep into my mind, heart, and soul.

I’ve even mentioned it here and there to B. That’s usually a sign when something has started to grip me. At this point, I am only 21% of the way through the book and I’ve been changed. Thank You, Lord, I’ve been changed. I keep getting weepy because this book has touched me so deeply and thoroughly.

I cannot recommend her book enough. In fact, get everything she has ever written, in every form you can. I have the devotional and Bible study. I also got her Christmas book I will start to read after I finish this book. Unless, I stop so often to get through this book, I realize I will need to stop reading it so I can get through the Christmas book, “THE GREATEST GIFT: UNWRAPPING THE FULL STORY OF CHRISTMAS” by Ann Voskamp. I even ordered a perpetual calendar. I think I will buy this book for the women in my lives for Christmas this year. Nevertheless, I think men would get a great deal out of this book as well, please don’t misunderstand.

I’ve been changed because of this book.

I started to think about thanksgiving. Sure. It’s the perfect time of year right now, the season of Thanksgiving. Today, as I prayer journal this, is 03 November 2013, Sunday. My life-changing storm eight days ago is another reason. The Bible says repeatedly how we are to offer thanksgiving to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:20-- Expanded Bible (EXB)

20 Always give [ …always giving] thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Question: How often are we supposed to offer thanksgiving to the Lord? Is there an exception or a time when we should not? (Can you guess?)

Answer: We are to offer thanks always, at all times, in every season, for whatever reason.

Huh.

Always. That means without exception.

Oh, boy. Conviction sets in. Sigh.

I give thanks sometimes. I catch glory sightings from time to time throughout my day and week. These glory sightings are blessings. They are times God reveals His glory to me, in which He is revealing Himself to me. But, the question was and still is, how many do I miss?

Years ago, thirteen or so I would say, there was a fad in Hollywood where people were keeping Gratitude Journals. For once, Hollywood did a good thing. The only problem was they didn’t give God thanks. They threw it out to the universe. I tried it, but didn’t get much out of it, and surely didn’t look at it as much as I could from the biblical standpoint, and haven’t tried it since.

Nevertheless, I have tried to keep a list here and there. I still didn’t get much out of it. So, what makes this different? How will it be different and successful this time? And, what defines success anyway?

I could, and can, tell a difference in Ann Voskamp, just through her writing of how much this has made her who she is. She’s been doing this since 2008. This caught my attention. The more I read her words, the deeper I am impacted by her, her writing, and the concept of “ONE THOUSAND GIFTS.”

It got to the point two days ago where I had to start to try to keep a list. That list got tossed to the side. It wasn’t working. It was all wrong. I didn’t feel it.

However, something else started to happen. Even with the list that didn’t work. I started to feel a deeper healing from the storm eight days ago.

‘Interesting. Why is that?’ I remember thinking to myself as I chewed on this on and off for twenty-four hours or so. I will get back to this question in a moment.

Let me clarify something. No. I do not want to emulate her and write a list because she said so. No. I don’t want to write this book like hers either. She has had her journey and I have mine. They are different because hers belongs to eh and mine belongs to me. However, I can sure learn from her. I can listen to what You, God, want me to do with this material and lessons I am learning. So, I want to try my own list of thanksgiving and I want to try to write about my experiences thereof.

That being said, this book, and the idea thereof is because of her. God used her words, and is using, through a very painful time in my life. Welcome to my journey—thanks to this beautiful, Christ-Follower.

It’s rather ironic, though. She has six kids. I would give anything for one. She has six. Am I envious? Maybe a little. But, reading this book right now, knowing this, and of the times she refers to them, should be painful. But, it isn’t. Again, she has her journey with You, Lord, and I have mine. I cannot be jealous of any journey. They have theirs. I have mine. Each is God-ordained and chosen. So, there is nothing to be jealous over. Also, I cannot get sad over everything that mentions kids. I would have to live in a hole or paper bag if I wanted to avoid babies and kids. Instead, a joy shared is a joy doubled. Her joy in her children can feed me a little as I share in her joy.

WHAT I’M STARTING TO LEARN

Why am I feeling a deep healing occurring, simply because of “ONE THOUSAND GIFTS” and because of my thanksgiving list and thinking on it? Do they go hand-in-hand? Or, are they separate?

I am starting to see and learn how they go hand-in-hand. Giving thanks brings a healing. At this point, I will not lie. I have no idea why, but the change in my life is proof therein. Giving thanks is a healing balm.

I listened to session one of Ann Voskamp’s Bible study for her book and it got me thinking about new material for me to prayer journal and share. I got a couple of pages typed up and that was when I realized that this is what I was meant to do. Maybe it was always what I was supposed to do:

1 Keep the counted blessings list.

2 Write and teach about thanksgiving.

Then, last night, I started a new list and it started to sink in and feel right. I found several things in my life, and from the day, to thank You for, Lord. I got them down on the page. However, it is what I started this morning that I started to write numbers 26 and on and things started to really speak to me and feel right. This was the answer I have searched for for all of these years.

How simple.

Give thanks.

(Thanks Ann Voskamp. Your writing is number nine on my list of 51 so far.)

EXB

Scripture taken from The Expanded Bible. Copyright © 2011 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.