Day 13 Grieving and Cumulative Nos from God

Journal April 20, 2014, Easter Sunday, 107 p.m.

I have taken four days to try to process the latest of seven major life-changing nos God has said in my life (maybe caused and/or maybe allowed) in my life over the last year or so. Each no has been highly painful. They have had a cumulative effect.

I'm not sure if they're permanent nos or no for now, as far as three of them. But, I know four are, in fact, permanent nos.

The truth of the matter is I am four days into my latest round of grief and I am still not sure what to think, how to feel, what to do, etc. I am rather lost and am confused. I'm still grieving.