Letter to the Lord #1: My Personal Journaling

Good morning, Lord. What a beautiful day it is. Thank you.  

Lord, I’ve decided to do a 40-day prayer challenge of praying without ceasing about something or someone for 40 days. 

I have no idea who or what I should pray for between now and 02 March 2013. Lord, guide me.
I am just feeling the need to pray--and I am hearing the call to talk with you, seek your face, and draw closer to you.

Guide me. Instruct me. Help me hear your voice. What should my prayer focus be?

I, also, thank you--for the answered prayer on Friday, along with everything that will come because of the answered prayer. 

Prepare my husband and I for what is to come, Lord.

Thank you for the ability and opportunity to journal and to teach journaling. What an awesome privilege. 

I will set my heart and mind on you today and listen--and will remain open to your prompting as to what my prayer focus should be.

You are an awesome God.

~ Stacy Duplease

Answer: My Personal Journaling

25 January 2013, Friday, 904 a.m.

I barely got any sleep last night and am running on fumes this morning. The good company of a friend will do that, you know. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I am not the young pup I was once was.

Do you hear me chuckling? Ever since I was a little girl, I have needed at the bare minimum seven hours of sleep and am in bed by 930ish. Last night, thanks to Beagle needed to go outside, I got three and a half hours sleep. Maybe. So, I am dragging.

I, however, woke up with a revelation. First came the words, STAY TRUE.

That resonated.

I heard:
Stay true to yourself.
Stay true to God.
Stay true to your calling.
Stay true to your journaling.
Stay true to your memoir.
Stay true to your priorities.
Stay true.

I knew then and there that fiction is not the way to go. That question
was answered.

'Kay.

Whew.

I felt the weight lift from my shoulders as that decision was made for
me. (The Lord guided me.)

I asked, then, "Now what?"

Memoir... It popped into my mind.

Alright. Which memoir? My writing memoir or my Jamestown memoir?

Silence. There was no response. Of course...

Now, what?

I am still waiting for that answer.

-- Stacy Duplease
Journalkeeper & Author

My personal journaling: I'm not sure where to begin

I am not sure where to begin this journal entry. There is so much to say. yet, I am not sure what to say or how to say it.

I need to write about what I've been experiencing the last couple of weeks and this week... I know I need to. Desperately. There is too much at stake if I don't. This, I have no doubt about and want to make sure to strike while I am able. 

First, my husband got sick. Really sick. Poor guy. And, I did everything I could to try to avoid getting sick. I am the type to get sick if he gets sick. I kept feeling like I was going to get sick, so I slowed down and took a day off. I was able to win. There were a few times I thought I felt sick, so I rested and beat the nastiness. Thank God. But, that took some time. 

Then, whenever my husband and I made plans, something came up. The same has happened this week. I have not been able to journal as I would like or need. Nowhere near. Also... regarding my memoir. What memoir? I haven't touched it at all this week yet. 

And, my personal journaling has been lacking at best. Things keep getting in the way. I journal some. But, it's been short and shallow. Not good. Ugh! I know better than to not journal as much as I need. But, I fell for the trap still. Ugh! 

But, the topper this week for me was when we went to Jamestown. That was when I got an idea for a fiction book. The thing I had given up... It's an idea so strong and compelling, it's hard for me to ignore. 

So, I decided to start to write the story--as I make sure to keep my priorities of God, husband, personal journaling, exercise, eating right, blogs, Google + communities, memoir, and then the fiction book/story. I just wanted wanted to get the idea on the page and see if I can get it out of my system. 

Well, it hasn't worked in one way and has in another. 

I feel even more that I need to write the book. But, I am okay to keep my priorities straight. 

That being said, I have a dilemma. 

I am going to a writer's conference in February. I wasn't planning on presenting anything to publishers since I self-publish my journaling stuff. But, I wanted to network and pass out as many business cards as possible for my journaling stuff (and for The Journaling Path). I will still do that... But, now I wonder about this possible book idea... The Jamestown women one... Do I see if publishers are interested or do I self-publish? Do I start presenting my idea and selling it? If so, I need to write like a madwoman and see how much I can get done in the next couple of weeks or so. That would mean putting off the memoir. My memoir is definitely something I will self-publish, by the way. Or, do I write like mad on that and present it?

Sigh, I have no idea. 

I think I am leaning to present memoir next year, but self-publish. 

Maybe I need to present all of them--depending on whom I talk with... That being said, I have to write as much as possible. I want to get a lot done with THE JOURNALING AND STORYKEEPING ENCYCLOPEDIA OF 2013 and my memoir: MY STORYKEEPING ODYSSEY, VOL. 1 and my fiction book: HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN. 

Stop, Stacy. Think. really think. Don't be controlled by your emotions or impulses.

I think I need to do some massive amounts of personal journaling to figure everything out.

Let's face the fact. My heart lies in Jamestown. It's my home. It's my most favorite place. It's me. I cannot underscore or stress this enough. 

It does not matter if I live in Virginia or not. It's more of what it represents than anything. But, I will go there often when we move someday.

In the meanwhile, am I to pass on the Jamestown legacy as fiction or as a memoir? This is my biggest dilemma.

Yes. I need to spend 12-15 hour days doing personal journaling all next week to figure out the answers I seek, I think. 

The more I think about it. I think this is the only way I will get these answers. The key is through lots of journaling and prayer time. Maybe I will know then...

I will continue my personal journaling, my blogs and Google+ communities that I am part of, and the encyclopedia. Period. None of these are in question. They are what I want to do for the rest of my life and pledge to do the rest of my life. Period. End of story.

It's the rest... My writing memoir??? And Jamestown??? A book of fiction or a memoir???? (Lord, help me find the answers I seek. May they be what you desire--and may it bring you the glory.)

I am so confused.

I--must--journal.

~ Stacy Duplease

EAVESDROPPING AND DISCOVERY AT JAMESTOWN: A BOOK IDEA: MY PERSONAL JOURNALING

 If two people are talking in a public place, their conversation will be overheard. 

As my husband and I stood at Historic Jamestown at the site of the latest archaeological dig of the cellar, in the actual fort of the 1607 Jamestown, we overheard two men talking about the latest discoveries in the dig. 

What they said staggered me. Big time. It opened my eyes and I was blown away. Astounded. Dumbfounded. Inspired. Shocked. Mortified. Moved. 

It got me thinking.

So, what did I hear? The conversation went something like this:

Man 1: "Did you know how the English records claim that there were no women who came to Jamestown in 1607?"

Man 2: "I do."

1: "Well, we have found several feminine items in this site, which has been dated to the original fort, with items dated to 1607. If there were no women here  those items would not be necessary and would not be found. But, we've found them."

That caught my attention. My head zoomed to the side for me to stare my husband in the eye. I gave him a look saying, DID YOU HEAR THAT? 

Husband's look: YEP. 

My look: CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!" As I wanted to shout.

Husband's look: NOPE. 

My mind started to work in overdrive as millions of thoughts went through my mind. 

2: "Well, that's interesting."

I would have to agree, I thought to myself.

1: "We think they brought over women, like they brought over boys. The boys were used as peace-offerings and as barter for food."

That made me freeze. All my thoughts ceased, other than, Oh, Lord, as I looked up toward the sky in prayer. 

How horrific. Those poor women.

1: "So, of course the English would not keep record of that."

Me: Of course they wouldn't, I thought. The truth is stranger and far more demeaning than fiction. 

1: "This is a brand new theory, just like the baking ovens here in the cellar." He pointed toward the hole in the ground.

I listened a little more until my husband took me by the hand and steered me away.

"I am stunned," I told my husband as we walked to the left of the old church. (Which is still in use today, by the way--and hold the remains of one of my relatives and outside in the graveyard at least one other relative.)

"That's what they call slavery. And that is what we do with sex slaves and trafficking today." He was quick to remind me and that only added another dagger to my heart.

How hideous.

"That means this is brand new information that has never been released. That means it's never been written about." I vocalize to my man.

He nods and squeezes my hand.

"That means I am in trouble."

"How?"

"I made the decision to only write books of non-fiction. Journaling and memoir."

"Pray on it, Stacy. Give it some time. If it keeps coming to your heart, listen to it. You can always do all three--or not. Go where God leads and write what he wants." My fount of wisdom, my God-fearing husband shares with me. I nod and we keep walking as my mind kept circling on this story. Women being given to the Indians as barter and for peace... 

Did they know? 

When did they know/realize the truth?

Were there GIRLS given as well--not just boys and women? 

What do I do?

Do I write the book?

And, do I start to write a second memoir about my learning about my family tree?

What do I do?

Here is where I ask for your input. I am feeling the pull more and more by the hour--not less--to write the book. Do I write it? What do you think? 

~ Stacy Duplease

{NOTE AND COPYRIGHT: Let me state here and now that I came up with this idea on my own. It is now put on the web and can be proven in a court of law that this is/was my idea. (So, please  no one steal this idea as your own. Stacy Duplease of Remembering Your Present, LLC 22 January 2012, 2:04 p.m. The idea of women being used as barter and peace-offerings for the Indians...)}

Jamestown: My Personal Journal Entry Part 2

Written: 2013-01-22 12:14 p.m.

Jamestown Settlement is okay. It's a replica of what Jamestown might have looked at in the day. I do like it there. But, my heart is at Historic Jamestown. It's the actual archaeological dig site of the old Jamestown fort--and was precisely where my ancestors tread. Hence, it is a very special place to me.

Whenever I go there, I cannot help but think each time, "Whose steps from back then, did I just step on? What was their life like? What were they doing, thinking, feeling, when they stepped here?"  

I also cannot help but wish I had their journals.

My husband and I try to go there at least once a month. However, with the holidays and all, It's been about eight weeks since we were there last. Sigh. (Hate that.) 

Therefore, when I stepped out of the car, and showed our National Parks pass, and walked toward the old fort, I felt the weight of the world drop off my shoulders. 

Huh. I never knew I had any weight on my shoulders. I have not been stressed or anything. But, then again  I do life. Life has its own stressors day to day. Whether they get to us or not, they still happen and still leave their mark. Thus, I was glad to return home. I was more than glad. I felt totally peaceful.With each step I took, I felt more and more lively--and I am usually a bubbly person. 

Yes. Jamestown is home. It's where my heart is the most whole. (I shudder every time I think of leaving. With what my husband does for his career, we could move any time from now to a year and a half from now. We never know. But, Virginia is not our retirement home. We will visit often, but we will not end up here.)

We love to see what new things they have uncovered at the archaeological dig site every time we go. We are able to ask questions of the volunteer or archaeologist who is by the dig and find out the latest. 

Yesterday, we could not believe how much they got done since we were last there--just after Thanksgiving. They are working on a cellar. Last time, they found steps. This time, it was a lot larger hole and they found two ovens they think were for baking. We could even see the ash! (Do I need to tell you how man pictures I took?!?) 

Wow! Wonder of wonders. 

Oh, how I got excited! 

I looked at my husband with my face that told him without my mouth moving, HOW COOL! And CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

He looks back at me with a huge smile. YEP. THAT'S MY WIFE. NO. I CANNOT. AND, YES. IT IS PRETTY NEAT. He tells me without uttering a word himself. Then, he squeezes my hand. 

After we get the first glimpse of the fort, and the dig, we head to the cafe along the James River and have a cup of coffee. It's tradition, after all. (Would you believe that we've driven all the way there just to have a cup of coffee along the James? No joke. We did that about three months ago. And, we saw everything else, too. It was a way to make a memory. Just like we drove to St. George, Utah to go to Cracker Barrel for lunch--when we lived in Las Vegas. You have to do silly things and make a memory, after all. It's fun--and is special to share.)

We drank our coffee outside, along the James River, even though it was a little chilly. But, oh, the sun was shining! It was a gorgeous day.

Then, we hit the gift shop in the archoraeum (spelling???) (museum) and then headed back to the dig. Mind you, each way, I took all sorts of pictures with my cell camera.

Then, since the light was different, as it is every time we go there, I took more photos of the fort. Then, headed to the dig and saw how the light was definitely drastically different. So, I took more pictures and was able to eavesdrop two men talking about the latest findings in the cellar. 

That was when I heard something that rocked my world entirely.

And, this is where I need your help, advice, and anything else you can tell me comes to your mind and is placed on your heart. 

See my next blog post: EAVESDROPPING AND DISCOVERY AT JAMESTOWN

Jamestown: My Personal Journal Entry Part 1

Written: 2013-01-22 0937 a.m.

Note: This is a personal entry that I am writing for you and to you, my blog reader, as I process what happened yesterday.

I wrote in a earlier blog post today how Jamestown is my most favorite place on the planet to visit. Do you know why it is?

Well, let me give a little history lesson of the place first, before I write anything more from my perspective. 

If I were to ask you where the United States of America started, what would your answer be?

As I was born and raised in Colorado, I learned that Plymouth, Massachusetts -and the MAYFLOWER, was where the USA started. This is wrong. 

The Mayflower was in 1620.

Jamestown, Virginia, is the correct answer--in 1607. Jamestown was the first English settlement for the USA in 1607. (This is important. Jamestown is the true birthplace of the United States.) 

That's quite the disparity. It all depends on who writes the textbooks as to whether the real truth is shared. I do not want to get into all that here and now. 

My husband and I moved to Virginia, because of relocating for his job, in July 2011. I had no idea about Jamestown--nor about what I am about to share. 

My husband and I both fell in love with Yorktown and Jamestown when we moved here to Virginia. He took a few weeks off from work so we could get settled and so we could have a vacation. (I have my entire house unpacked within a week, let me add. This is always my goal when I move--and preferably within a couple of days.) We visited both places often (and still do, of course). 

Then, on 15 June 2012, I learned something that has thoroughly, completely, entirely, decisively, totally changed my life. (I used all of those synonyms for a reason. It's to make a point.) I learned of a relative, Bryan Penny, who lived in what is now known as Hampton, Virginia in 1670. My family never knew about this, mind you. And, Hampton is near where we live. 

This information staggered me.

I realized that I was here in Virginia, at this time, for a reason.

So, I started to work on my family tree. 

I've learned that my family consists of some of the Tudors and Plantagenets, royal houses of England, and I had over 50+ relatives executed at the Tower of London. I also learned how I am a descendant of Nero. He's the one who played the fiddle as Rome burned. I am also a descendant of Constantine. 

But, I also learned that I had three family members come here to Jamestown in 1607. Three! And, I also had one, John Arundell, who went to Roanoke in 1585-1586 (See the Lost Colony of Roanoke. But, he wasn't one of them.)

Amazing!

This rocked my world--and still does whenever I think about it.

I thought my family had only been here in the USA for four generations or so one one side, three generations on another, and two on another. That was wrong. 

But, that's not all. I also learned how by 1640, I had over 35+ family members in Jamestown (or surrounding areas). Also, how I've had family members fight in every single war the U.S. has ever seen. And, I learned that I had over 30+ people fight in the American Revolutionary War (aka the War of Independence). But, what I found really remarkable was how a father and his 12 sons fought in the American Revolutionary War. 

The fact that I had three here in Jamestown in 1607--and had over 35+ by 1640, is what really stands out to me. 

{Note: Written: 2013-01-22 11:51:47: I just went on an errand and am now back to continue writing this personal journaling entry, addressed to you, my blog reader.}

Now, I am sure, you can see why Jamestown is so important to me. It's the birthplace of the nation I call home, the United States of America, and is where I am from. I've always been patriotic and support 100% the military and all they do. And, I love my family. Jamestown represent both in my life so are meaningful.

It's rather interesting knowing my true family tree and I see things through a totally different lens. My point-of-view is radically different. When asked my ethnicity, I say I am 100% American. I even add it on forms that has an OTHER option. I might have English, Irish, Skottish, German, Swedish, Italian, etc. blood in me, but that was from long ago. I am all American.

My Storykeeper Odyssey, Vol 1: An Introduction

As you know, I’ve dedicated 2013 to writing all of my memories and my life story. I want to get all of my memories down on the page. I want to leave my trace on this world. I want my life to be remembered—as a life dedicated to journaling—and encouraging others to do the same. It is important to me.

I have decided to start over with the writing of my memoir. Earlier this week I made this decision and I am glad to have made it because it’s already taken on a life of its own. The title of my memoir is:

THE STORYKEEPER ODYSSEY, VOL. 1

It’s my story about my writing and journalkeeping.

I have lived—and God has me here, at this time, for a purpose. It is my life story and is my life’s purpose. God wants me to journal first, teach others to journal second, and write my life story third. Every day has a reason and an opportunity for me to live my God-given destiny. I can live a life fulfilled or one that is not. This is the how I will bring God maximum glory (and I will bear much fruit).

I will share some of the memoir here on this blog. But, some is far too personal, so I am going to share it in book format in its unedited, rough draft version at my store on Smashwords. So, check it out next week.

WHY SHOULD YOU READ MY MEMOIR?

Do you like to hear other people’s stories?

Do you want to get the most from and your of your life story?

Have you ever had a dream?

Do you want to know and live your life’s purpose—your big dream?

Have you had obstacles get in the way of you living your big dream and your life’s purpose?

Do you journal?

Do you want to write a book?

If you answered “yes” to any of the previous questions, this memoir, blog post series, and book are for you.

WHAT IS MY MEMOIR ABOUT EXACTLY?

It’s my journaling about my life as a writer and as a journalkeeper. It’s the story of my odyssey as I journal and write, and all of the obstacles that have tried to hinder me from doing either. It’s my story of how I’ve overcome. 

~ Stacy Duplease

Journalkeeper & Memoir Writer

Confession and Running To: My Personal Journaling

I have a confession. I need to run to today (not runaway from). I need to run as fast as I can to my Lord who can bring me comfort and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I need to rejuvenate in him and seek some healing.

I have a million things that need to come first. My to do list is long as can be. But, it will wait.

However, there are times when we have to deal with something head on--or it will deal with us. I think the time is now for me. I need to acknowledge some feelings and thoughts that I try to push down. You know... Act strong. 

I trust God and his timing. He knows best. He sees things through divine eyes and I only see through my small, scarred, limited, sinful, and human eyes. 

But, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't feel beaten. That doesn't mean I don't feel low and yucky. That doesn't mean I have a lack of faith. It's just that after four+ years, it can be difficult to wait... To be patient... To not know when my prayers will be answered.

And, have you noticed that when other people's same prayers are answered, and yours hasn't been... It can hurt? And, you feel guilty for feeling that way? That's where I am at today.

The truth is in four years, I haven't cried once about this. I've remained strong. I've held to my faith. I've trusted. I have tried to do everything I can to push through, to keep moving forward, to not feel sorry for myself, and to know that God has bigger, better, perfect plans. 

He promised me this prayer will be a yes answer. But, it's in his timing, not mine. I know he is preparing me and my husband for this. I know he is preparing everyone else for it, too. 

But, sometimes, it's hard to remain forever strong and faithful.

Sometimes, I just want a hug by God. A reminder he hasn't forgotten. A reminder that it just isn't time yet--that it will happen--and he is proud of the race I've run so far. 

It hurts.

So, today, I am going to take some time and not be so strong and sort through everything I've dealt with for over four years. It's time. 

I am running to--deal with it. Not runaway from and avoid having to do so. 

I am running to God and want to see if he has anything to say. I sure could use a word from him. That is for sure. 

~ Stacy Duplease

Journalkeeper 

Journaling Matters: Personal Journaling

Journaling matters a great deal in my life. I would not be the woman I am not if not for journaling.

As I have taken time to reflect on my life over the last year in particular, I've come to realize something. I have not journaled to the degree I wanted or to the depth I need.

Then again, if I am completely honest, I would have to admit I have not done so in 11.5 years.

Wow. What an in-your-face acknowledgment.

For the record, I have not realized this, or put it to words until now, in this moment, as I write this blog post. When I started this blog post, it was to let you know how much journaling means to me. But, I see it's metamorphosized into something bigger. I am being authentic with you--so you know how everyone has their struggles. No one is perfect. And life sure isn't fair and never has been and never will be fair.

I have journaled. Yes. I have journaled a great deal at times, and not so much at other times.

However, I allowed what I thought was a dream sidetrack me from what was truly important in my life. (Pardon me as I stop and re-read what I've typed so far. It's quite profound. This is an AHA moment. It's a time of conviction, eye-opening, and dream adjustment. It's a change in my overall point-of-view. In other words, this is a HUGE life-changing moment for me as I become aware of some truths I have not vocalized or even realized--in my journal or aloud.)

By the way, yes. As I journal, I will often times go back and re-read what I have journaled so that it penetrates deeper. So I can allow myself to chew on the new discoveries. So I can be changed because of what I have written--and been told by God.

Also, you will see I violate all sorts of grammar and writing rules as I journal. I write for impact and not to impress anyone. (As I publish, it's another thing.) Also, on this blog, I want to share the rawness with you--not be something I am not. My journaling has flaws.

I make mistakes. I am human.

But, my journaling transforms me more into the woman who lives her passions and is: A memory-maker prayerful wife, and journalkeeper.

Okay... Now that I got sidetracked... and I tend to do that when I journal--and have to bring myself back to the heart of the matter.

I think fiction has been a way to sidetrack me from living my true dream and passion--from God's purpose.

That's why I stopped taking place in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). That's also why I decided to write memoirs, and books on how to journal, rather than fiction.

I recommitted to journaling, and teaching journaling, on 14 November 2012. This is a big day in my life.

However, I must be honest--with you and with myself. I do not think I have journaled as deeply as I could--even the last 2.5 weeks. This needs to change. I think I have finally started the process as my eyes were opened as I wrote this blog post.

Here is another confession. I do not journal as much as I would prefer or as much as I need each day. and, often times, I forget to take my own advice... And, I get sidetracked and distracted too often.

The last year, as a matter of fact, I have done mostly--nothing but spin my wheels. In many ways, I think I wasted the last year. (Ouch.)

I've tried to make several things work that haven't. (Then again, that
could really be said about the last four years. Another ouch.)

So, what now?

Do I kick myself? Do I hold this over my own head? My answer: No and no. What good would that do? Can I change the past? Nope. However, I can sure change the present--and plan for the future. I will analyze things a lot more for a while and see how it could have been avoided and what to change. I will share my new wisdom with you. And, I will carry on. I will make my dreams come true: To leave a legacy and live a memorable life. Every day. And, I will teach others to do the same.

Now, I will go back and re-read this blog post/journal entry a few more times and journal some more about it.

So, how about you? Have you ever thought you were aiming to make your dream come true, only to realize it was the wrong dream? And, do you journal as much, or as deeply as you should or want?

-- Stacy Duplease
Journalkeeper & Author

(Image Credit: Microsoft Images Online.)