AYOAGT Day 3, Part 3

AYOAGT Day 3, Part 3
April 09, 2014, Wednesday, 4:26 p.m.

I am thankful for:
72 CHRISTIAN JOURNALING: I decided to turn this afternoon into a time of praise and worship. For a couple of hours, I had a short quiet time or Bible reading, reflection, journaling, etc.--feeling, needing more. But, I had to stop and share this with you and why it's a thanks. So, one of my favorite songs, for years now, came on the radio: "REVELATION SONG." So, sitting my desk, in front of an open window. Open curtains. Closed window. I sat in my study, with beagle sleeping on one of his two dog beds in my study and two turtles doing the swimming thing. I closed my eyes and sang the song at the top of my lungs. You know what I mean. Ladies in particular. 
Sometimes the louder you sing, the better you feel. You work through the emotion. You get it out and you find God in the process. At any rate, when I was done, I felt six sets of eyes on me. No joke. I opened my eyes and saw cat to my left, sitting on the ladder I use to reach the top shelves of my book cases, underneath the open window. Both turtles had their heads sticking up out of water, necks stretched, looking at me and looking up. None made the 'you-are-so-weird" look. Instead, it was as though they joined me in worship. How incredible of a moment. I am thankful for that. God was present. Id on't think ? I will ever forget it. I think angels joined in the chorus of praise and worship. What a moment. (Thank God. To you be all glory, honor and praise.)

CHRISTIAN AND MAINSTREAM JOURNALING: 
That moment only reminded me of something I wanted to share earlier in the day... I just hadn't. 
Do you know what makes always giving thanks so powerful? If you keep giving thanks, even in the yuck and mess of life, even during the life-changing-on-a-dime moments, even when you don't want to and certainly don't feel like it, something unexplainable happens. You will start to feel--joy. 
And, joy is something deeper than happiness. Happiness is fleeting. Happiness ebbs and flows with emotions, weather, choice, wants, needs, etc. Joy doesn't depend on anything or anyone. Joy is long-lasting and is deeper and far more meaningful. For Christians, joy comes from God. For the mainstream, joy comes from a deeper life. 
Always giving thanksgiving + no matter what + at all times = joy.

I am thankful for:
73 Joy.
74 Chinese food leftovers, which I'm about to get. 

75 Making time for stillness.

76 Making time for quiet.

77 Enjoying the moment. 

536 p.m. 

Warmed up my leftovers, ate them, emailed with hubby as he did the work thing, and now I am back here. As I warmed up my food a thought came to mind:

How much have I missed because I haven't paid attention to the small stuff? 

How many blessings? I've been so busy, so sidetracked. Excuses. (Pathetic really.) So, how many have I missed? 

Huh. Talk about an eye-opener. 

I am thank for:

78 Microwaves

79 Coffee pots

80 AHA Moments!!!

Duh! I never got back to my AHA Moment from last night. With what happened in Pittsburgh, I forgot. (See part 1 from today if you forget what I'm talking about: http://ayoagt.blogspot.com/2014/04/ayoagt-day-3.html.)

AHA Moment #1 was realizing I am hurting--and I didn't realize it. The hurt stems form a succession of life-changing-on-a-dime moments (no joke) over the past year, but particularly since one month before Thanksgiving 2013 was the second latest round. The latest round of painful, life-changing-on-a-dime moment is stemmed to the ones from the last year. There have been five painful events that have changed my husband's and my lives forever. We hope to make it in the best way possible change, though. But, then, came round six. That was last week (Or was it the week before? I'm not sure.). I think I've been trying to go on, pretending that life was normal, that I was tough, that I had faith, that I was strong, that I could handle this. As of last night, I realized I wasn't handling it. I was denying it. I was ignoring it. I refused to deal with it. 

Now, I have to ask myself this: Have I said thank you about those six things? Have I counted each as a blessing? 

As a matter of fact, I think I have. 

If I have, did I really mean it? Really, really? If I did, the pain wouldn't still be so raw. Saying thanks, in all things and for all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18) doesn't have any exclusions. So, these six things... If I was really thankful for each of them, I would not feel this pain. 

Now, what can I do to really mean the thanks? 

I'll be honest. At this point, I have no idea whatsoever how to really mean the thanks for the hurts. 

I think that's what I need to pursue.